Sunday, July 27, 2008

Mom, Wife, Me.

As a mom, you feel such a responsibility to take care of and protect your children. I have learned what sacrifice means and I know how it is to put your children's needs and desires in front of your own.

In the beginning when my health was not good and body was wracked in pain, I still tried to nurse my children. I did things that were important to them and their growth. The same is true today and every day of my life. Forever and ever.

There is something deep inside you that pulls at you that drives you to comfort and care and love your children. I have never known anything like it and it has had a profound effect on me.

So it is with mixed emotions that I say that one of my best friends and I are headed for a mommy-vacation. No husbands and no kids. We are headed to a spa and will be relaxing and gossiping and dreaming and sharing ideas for two whole days.

I am so excited about being a woman. A girl. Laughing about our lives, sharing tears over our sorrow and challenges and all that we have been through as friends. This was her idea and it took me a year to do it. A YEAR! That is my life. And partly, my reluctance because I didn't feel it was appropriate to get away for a few days.

But the boys are three now. We have Karen and family support and Mike is amazing with the boys.

SEE THIS MIKE? I KNOW how excellent you are and much they adore you. And how deeply connected you are to them. You defy society's stereotype dad and really take on so much more than the traditional father duties. You are their father and friend and mentor and oh, so special. SEE? I KNOW IT!

And while my heart is tugging at me and making me feel like I am doing something frivolous and selfish, the woman in me is yelling - "Stephanie, it's time!"

I do know it. It's time. Let the people around you help you. Let your husband help you. Do something just for you. And I know when I get back, I will feel rested and rejuvenated.

Being a Mom is more...more than I knew or imagined it would be. I love my little boys so much and being around them is a great joy. But I know that I am also a woman and a wife. And while we have had our husband and wife vacation - it's time for me to step out on my own and remember who I was before I was a mom. She is somewhere in there, I just know it.

~ Stephanie

1 comment:

Chutingstar said...

We missed you! Glad you're back home...