Nathan and Jamie's Mom

Reality > Dreams

2011-06-13T10:05:00.003-04:00

Pinch me.

Wake me.

Can this be real?

My real life has exceeded my own dreams. As a young girl, I hoped to be married one day. I thought I might have children. I planned on having a j-o-b. And today, I sit here with more than all those ideas.

A fun and exciting husband.

Two beautiful boys.

And now, the home of our dreams. Yes, OUR. Because we made a list you know. We both had ideas of our dream home. They seemed to clash. How could we find one home that has all of these things. Near impossible? No!

So the move is done. The wine is chilled. We still on our big red couch surrounded by the green of the grass and leaves. Not another home to be seen. Lightening bugs sparking in the darkness. Children nestled in their own beds. Not afraid but excited and thrilled with their room.

Love in the air. For my husband. My children. and for the adventures we will have in our forever home.

The home with the view. The glorious view!

On 3 acres. In a subdivision with a pool. With room for a wine cellar. A music studio. With a wood stove. With built in book cases. Large closets. Three pantries. A laundry room. A cellar. With lights! and bushels and bushels of hydrangeas. For flower arrangements.

Yes. Reality is greater than the dreams.

Peace at last.

~ Living the dream mama

Groceries and pee

2008-08-05T10:13:00.002-04:00

After picking up the boys from school, I ran to the grocery store.

Because I am in fear of the boys peeing in their pants, I keep a spare potty in my car so that they can pee if they can't hold it before we get home.

We got through the shopping trip with minor scratches and only a few angry faces from fellow shoppers - I let the boys push the cart...at high speeds...through the store. They are short. They cannot see over the top of the cart. Scary and Funny at the same time.

We were almost home.

Nathan: "I gotta pee!"

Jamie: "Me too! I gotta pee!"

I ask them if they can hold it.

Nathan whimpers: Nooo.

I pull over to a shopping center and let each one out to pee. and pee. and pee. and pee.

Finally we are back in our seats and headed home.

As I make a sharp turn, I actually think - Oh no! The groceries and THE PEE! I can actually hear it sloshing around!

I realize I must drive carefully to avoid pee. on. my. groceries. Nice.

Minivans. Potties in the backs of cars. Mom.

I made it home, only to get pee all over my hand and shoes as I am taking it through the garage.

Just another day in paradise.

~ Just this mom.

Dinosaurs and little boys

2008-08-04T18:02:00.003-04:00

I so was NOT a SciFi geek growing up, unless you count Star Trek and for the sake of this conversation, it's not included.

I was sick on Saturday and had very little energy. This usually means a day of the boys playing together and watching tv with me, intermittently.

I stumbled on a series, 1 - 3 all in a row, in the SciFi channel.

We all laid on the couch with our pillows and blankets and watch them. After the first, I recorded the other two so we could watch without commercials. and. they. LOVE IT!

The people and the dinosaurs living together in harmony. The fantastic costumes and flying Terranadons. They even reenact scenes...

Jamie: Take my hand! You CAN DO IT!

Nathan: I CAN'T!

The switch off, each being the one to help the other cross from the couch to the ottoman. The scene is between two of the characters but they are actually acting it out!

I was so excited, I went on eBay and ordered the original big color book (apparently goes for as high as $250) and several of the children's books. The artwork has a bit of a cult following.

I can't wait to read the books to the boys and it makes me wonder what they will be like when they are 2nd or 3rd grade with their little sci-fi books. I can only imagine the books they will introduce me to and for that I am so excited to be a mom of boys.

Maybe I will go to one of those crazy conventions!

If you get a chance, take a Sci-fi moment, and enjoy a little series called Dinotopia or escape into another Sci-Fi fantasy. I highly recommed it.

~ Visitor to Dinotopia Mama

Mom, Wife, Me.

2008-07-27T17:24:00.000-04:00

As a mom, you feel such a responsibility to take care of and protect your children. I have learned what sacrifice means and I know how it is to put your children's needs and desires in front of your own.

In the beginning when my health was not good and body was wracked in pain, I still tried to nurse my children. I did things that were important to them and their growth. The same is true today and every day of my life. Forever and ever.

There is something deep inside you that pulls at you that drives you to comfort and care and love your children. I have never known anything like it and it has had a profound effect on me.

So it is with mixed emotions that I say that one of my best friends and I are headed for a mommy-vacation. No husbands and no kids. We are headed to a spa and will be relaxing and gossiping and dreaming and sharing ideas for two whole days.

I am so excited about being a woman. A girl. Laughing about our lives, sharing tears over our sorrow and challenges and all that we have been through as friends. This was her idea and it took me a year to do it. A YEAR! That is my life. And partly, my reluctance because I didn't feel it was appropriate to get away for a few days.

But the boys are three now. We have Karen and family support and Mike is amazing with the boys.

SEE THIS MIKE? I KNOW how excellent you are and much they adore you. And how deeply connected you are to them. You defy society's stereotype dad and really take on so much more than the traditional father duties. You are their father and friend and mentor and oh, so special. SEE? I KNOW IT!

And while my heart is tugging at me and making me feel like I am doing something frivolous and selfish, the woman in me is yelling - "Stephanie, it's time!"

I do know it. It's time. Let the people around you help you. Let your husband help you. Do something just for you. And I know when I get back, I will feel rested and rejuvenated.

Being a Mom is more...more than I knew or imagined it would be. I love my little boys so much and being around them is a great joy. But I know that I am also a woman and a wife. And while we have had our husband and wife vacation - it's time for me to step out on my own and remember who I was before I was a mom. She is somewhere in there, I just know it.

~ Stephanie

2008-07-26T16:00:00.000-04:00

I find that after becoming a mother, my eyes immediately focus in on news stories regarding children. And there are some days...that it is deeply depressing and I can't bring myself to look at the news for several days. I am overwhelmed by the number of children injured or killed at the hands of a parent or close relative.

Well I. AM. LIVID.

The recent story on the missing little girl, Caylee Anthony - fuming!

Both the mother and grandmother are lying to the police and withholding information - by their own admission!

* The daughter is telling police that there are only some things she can tell them and she will be honest about those things.

* The grandmother received a TIP on her grandaughters whereabouts but the grandmother doesn't have time to check the answering machine all the time.

All the while, time is slipping away.

As a mother, you put your child in front of your own life. Mothers that I know would never choose their own life over that of their child. So then why would Casey Anthony not call authorities after her child had been missing for a month? The grandmother says that the woman that took Caylee has something on Casey. What?

A Mother, in her right mind, would put the child's safety first and let her own chips fall where they lie. Even if it meant jail or death. Sorry if you disagree but this woman, this "mother" either killed her daughter or values her own safety above her daughters.

Either way, she is no mother, does not deserve custody and should remain in jail.

I read a recent article today and even more is coming out in recorded 911 and jailhouse conversations. Unfortunately all this press is making me ill because the police don't seem to be any closer to finding her - that is, if they are putting it in the paper.

At the end, both women, mother and grandmother will find themselves in horrible positions. They will each lose a child - and each - had the opportunity to prevent this from happening.

Most current article

Until then, I am hoping that this crazy Mother turned her daughter Caylee over to someone who actually cared enough to get her away from her mother and that she is safe - away from these horrible people.

~ Deeply sad

Mojo recouperation

2008-07-25T16:39:00.003-04:00

She caught me.

She saw me do it but I wasn't embarrassed. Not one bit.

She saw my impression of Molly Shannon hit her cheerleader pose and yell "SuperStar!" except that I yelled "I juuust made SIX Meals!

It was like stress melted right off of me. All those days spent stressing about menus and ingredients and cooking and just losing my whole love of cooking...I mourned my cooking mojo.

But there is more than one way to slice an onion!

One day while getting my hair cut and complaining about the whole process of dinner, my hair dresser reminded me of the Dinner A'Fare across the street. We talked about it and I went home to find time in my schedule.

Can you believe, it actually took me 6 weeks to put it into my schedule? That's my life.

I had Karen coming over, I had set up my account, selected my meals and I was good to go.

They ask you to bring a cooler or a laundry basket to carry out the food. I left home not wanting to be late and headed out to cook my meals.

Fresh foods and good recipes all for me to cook in a short period of time and without the planning and research and time in the kitchen. It was the recipe finding and shopping I dreaded the most and Dinner A'Fare took that completely off my plate.

I arrived and I was the only one there. At first I was kind of...lonely. They, I realized I could talk to myself and people wouldn't think I was crazy. I had six meals and each took about 15 minutes to make. I learned that making egg rolls is embarrassingly easy. I realized how expensive it would have been for me to make the pasta primavera. It was nice and relatively quiet - lots of music. No one tugging on my pants, pulling them down and mooning a child while I chopped onion. No searching online, in magazines or in my cookbooks. FANTASTIC!

When I finished, I realized that in roughly 90 minutes, I created 6 different meals that I knew would work well with Mike and me and several the boys would eat. I could focus on my family, no more stressing about food - I had healthy choices. Just superb. I felt calm and rejuvenated and in a small way, my mojo made a move in the positive direction. I might be healing. I WILL be coming back. Soon. (If you register within 24 hours you get an extra meal!)

Hey YOU and YOU! And you baking that frozen lasagna..."I just made 6 meals!!!"

~ Superstar Mom

Laugh till we cry

2008-07-22T08:32:00.000-04:00

I had such a wonderful time with the boys this week. Mike was out of town and it was just me and the boys.

I am growing more confident in taking the boys with me on errands. This weekend the errand was for Play-doh. We only had these tiny little containers that you could hardly build anything out of.

Sunday Morning I laid out something to cover the table and handed each one his own cup of Play-doh. We also had an assortment of cookie cutter shapes, rolling pins, special Play-doh scissors and this little garlic-press type thing that made "hair".

After they had been sitting for 30 minutes, I grabbed my own cup and sat down to play with them. We cut out stars and diamonds. We made cut-outs of seahorses, penguins and sharks. I was very careful not to mix colors. Yes, the control freak comes out in me at Play-doh time. I had yellow, Jamie had green and Nathan had blue.

I made a little girl out of clay with long hair and a "dancing" dress per Jamie's request. Then Jamie wanted me to make a little Jamie - boy for him. He promptly squashed it. I made sure that his green boy didn't touch my yellow girl.

I started making things and saying, "what's this?" Jamie guessed quickly each time.

The last thing I made was a bunny. I crafted a lower quarters. Created the head. Made some floppy ears. And Jamie jumped in.

"Bunny needs a back pack"

I responded all adult-like, "No it doesn't (laugh laugh laugh) that's where the tail goes". I moved his hand away.

"No, he needs a BACKPACK!"

"No, (more and more laughter from me). Look! Here's his tail! His eyes!"

I am now laughing so hard that I am crying. In and of itself, this is not a humorous conversation. Unless of course you are me. Sitting at the table with your charming son Jamie. And he is one of the great loves of your life. And I cannot stop laughing. And the boys say, "Mommy don't cry!" and I tell them that I am laughing and sometimes when I laugh, I cry.

And not like I hadn't known it before but these were tears of great joy and great love. And I was more than just a little overwhelmed at how much I loved him, loved them both and how happy I was in my life.

Shortly after, we picked up the Play-doh, the little rabbit is all smooshed up and back in the yellow cup. And you should know, that after that, I let them smoosh up the colors all they wanted.

And the green and blue looked lovely together.

~ Blissful Mama

Are we passing Elmo in the fast lane?

2008-07-20T20:35:00.004-04:00

My boys turned three a few weeks ago.

They also finished potty training...well, let's say they are 95% which is good enough for me, granted I am hoping for a 100% in the next month or so.

As a reward for wearing underwear 24 hours a day, they would get a special gift. They would get their very own ATV racing helmet!

This was a big deal. We've been talking about it for several months. We pass by the motorcycle store Xtreme Machines almost every day.

The big day had come and we pulled into the lot. Not knowing what to expect, I took a big breath and carried my "babies" in.

The men were really nice and helped me locate some helmets quickly. The boys were more than anxious to try on these giant helmets. The looked so large, like my full face helmet for skydiving or my once used motorcycle helmet.

TheY chose colors. I waited for the sales guy to retrieve the new helmets.

The boys made themselves at home immediately locating a 70cc ATV and playing with the keys. They had not graduated past their 12v Fisher Price ATVs with max speed of 5 mph. These 70cc ATVs will go up to 20 mph and you can adjust the speed as they learn. I asked the sales guy about them. His 3 year old is already riding one. I know that these are inevitable and the boys will have them. I mean, am I ready for this? I still have the blankets the nurses wrapped around them when they were born!

They looked like such big boys sitting up straight on those little ATVs. When they put the helmets on, they looked a bit like...well, bobble heads. My sweet little boys. These helmets would replace the Elmo bike helmets we purchased a year ago. Were we coming to a new right of passage? Were they going to be decked in racing gear - head to toe - before we knew it?

I was excited for them and at the same time, just a wee bit melancholy for the speed that the last three years had come.

We drove home, the boys talking about their racing helmets the whole way. We went immediately to the back yard and pulled out their 4-wheelers. This was it. The beginning of the end. I am just one soccer game and a prom away from college.

And then I heard the words that reminded me that they are still just 3. Lovely, delightful, funny 3.

As I handed the new racing helmet to Nathan, he said "No Mom. I want the Elmo helmet".

~ Mama of racin' boys

The gift of a life

2008-07-16T13:09:00.000-04:00

Traditions in skydiving.

There are so many and it is one of the things I loved about the sport when I jumped. For example, whenever you do something for the first time, you will here a chorus of "Case of Beer!!!" The skydivers will hold you to it too. They will expect that you bring a case of beer the next time you are at the drop zone.

One of the other traditions is the gift given to your rigger when you have a reserve ride. You see, each skydiver has a main parachute and a reserve parachute. If for some reason your main fails you, your reserve is there ready for you. It's your "Plan B", or as morbid as it sounds, your last chance to live. Your rigger is the one responsible for maintaining it, making sure it is packed perfectly so that it will deploy when you need it most. Whenever a skydiver is forced to deploy his reserve, it's considered a "save". Your life was "saved". The rigger is given a gift for making sure that reserve opens as perfectly as possible giving the skydiver another day and another chance at life. This wonderful life.

In the past, the rigger was given his favorite alcoholic drink. My husband, who is an FAA Master Rigger, first brought home Guiness. Then he began to bring home wine. I was able to enjoy the reds and whites his customers brought to him. It was fun to see what he brought home. I can't remember how many saves Mike has now, but I was one of his first.

Last night, Mike came home late from a long day and handed me a small box. He said, "I got this for a save." I looked at the box and saw 120gb. Hmmm. "A back-up drive?" I asked.

"No. It's 12,000 songs"

Process that for a minute folks. TWELVE THOUSAND SONGS. I took it all in. "Mike, that's like $12,000 worth of music".

Mike told me that a customer, Steve, brought the little back-up drive in with 12,000 songs. Six decades worth of music. His gift to Mike for his "save".

I felt like a little kid! I couldn't wait to look at the songs that Mike had gotten as a gift. I KNOW it was his but the size of the files meant that it had to go on our home computer which has about a terabyte.

It took like AN HOUR to download. I paced. I waited. I dreamt of all the songs that would be on the list. Would there be duplicates? What were his favorites? I almost felt like I was about to meet someone. Someone important.

FINALLY!

The songs were download and I started to scroll. I grinned. Then giggled. I laughed out loud. Who do I pay first?

Janis Joplin! The Beatles! Garth Brooks! Mary Chapin Carpenter!

There were familiar favorites. There were new ones by artists I didn't know. There was depth here. This was someone open to all music. He explores different genres. This wasn't a music snob but a music lover. Someone like me. Good music fills my soul. My music collection soothes an aching heart, focuses a scattered brain, lifts my spirit and calms my hectic day. I can relive favorite memories as the first few notes are played.

This collection had years of careful thought into it. Not every song from every album was included. He picked his favorites. The ones that moved him. This was more than a gift. THIS was filled with passion and love and intensity and frivolity. His memories and experiences all were represented by the songs that filled this little box.

I think the gift of the music kind of hit me. Skydivers are by nature, risk takers. Regardless of what you read or hear, it is a calculated risk. They are confident that their reserve will open, that they are safe to some extent. But it's huge you know...falling from the sky...and 120 square feet of fabric opening above your head, slowing you down to the point that you can run or walk out of your landing. Do we take for granted that it will open each time? Expect it to be there so that when it happens, it's a non event?

I can't speak for all of the skydivers but the irony of this moment was so clear to me. A life in music.

A little box with 120gb. HIS LIFE. In music and words and melody. His life in a little box. Given to Mike as a gift. A gift of thanks for HIS LIFE.

~ Stephanie

I'm back!

2008-07-15T09:25:00.002-04:00

Quick apologies for the hiatus - some things just got in the way of posting but I am back...

What's happened in the last two months?

The boys turned 3! They are deliciously sweet and funny... My favorites from the last few months are:

"No! I not!" (Jamie when you ask him to do something and they don't want to)

"Please Jamie, Please switch. Don't say no." (Nathan pleading with Jamie to switch cars with him)

"Happy BIIIIRRRRRD Day to YOU, Happy BIIIIIIRRRRD Day to YOU!" (Jamie singing this song)

"The poop is coming! The POOP is COMING!!!" as my son Nathan races by

"Jamie - X Pee, X Pee Jamie" This is when they stand at either side of the toilet and pee across from each other forming an "X".

Other funny stuff:
Nathan's unusual attachment to a floral dress and his "Doc Hudson Hornet with the Red Wheels underwear". After wearing it for a day he'll say, "No Dad, this is not dirty, this is clean. Need to wear it".

Jamie using his new clubhouse outside (oddly resembles a Starbuck's) and asks you if you want "Coffee Coo - Latta and a coppee cake" as he hangs out the window.

Oh yes - and we are almost done with Potty training...a few remnants and we are DONE DONE DONE!

I love age 3! So independent and so so funny. Another post will quickly follow, it's been sitting for reasons that will be more clear when you read it...

Until next time...

~ Mama to three-year olds!

Cool Stuff to Try! Pandora

2008-05-16T08:27:00.002-04:00

If you already read Catherine Singleton's blog, then you know about Pandora, but just in case.

One of her blog entries, she referenced Pandora in creating your own radio station. So, I did it.

I went out...created my stations...and now I can listen to music that I don't have on my iTunes and it is specific to what I am looking for.

So, a bit of a commercial, but I highly recommend...

I'm headed to listen to my Beatles radio station!

Dream Diary - 3

2008-05-15T08:49:00.003-04:00

I guess I should be careful what I watch before I go to sleep. These days, I am so tired, I am falling asleep fast. I always need a little tv to wind down. Last night, I was watching Top Chef.

So, it was a pretty good dream. I was on Top Chef and it was down to the final 3. I ended up losing but I still felt really good about making it to the top 3. We (all of us "Top Chefs") were cleaning up our work space in the kitchens and Andrew or Spike (current contenders this season) brought special t-shirts out to the top 3, except that mine wasn't a t-shirt...it was a slip.

A black one. Like the kind that Blanche would have worn in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof".

I put it on immediately because I couldn't believe he bought me a slip/dress. It fit perfectly, except in the bra area. I could have put some toilet paper in there to fill it out but I didn't. I just kept thinking..."it fits everywhere else...".

And then Tom Colicchio, dressed in a tailored black suit with a crisp white shirt and lavender silk tie came to talk to me about my dishes. Did I mention that he looked handsome? He did.

The thing about me is that movie stars don't make me nervous. However, if you are an amazing chef or a sommelier, oh my! My knees get weak and my stomach is filled with butterflies.

Last year, Mike took me to the Ritz Carlton in Atlanta. Their Dining Room is famous - and well it should be. (My rule of thumb is that if I can't figure how to make it or it's beyond my skills AND it is delicious...that's when I am truly impressed. I like to be blown away...but I digress)

On this occasion with Mike, they had a young woman who was their sommelier. Her name was Chantal. I think she was 26 or 27 - a phenom in the wine world. I just wanted to meet her. I got nervous when she was at the table next to ours pouring wine and talking to the couple about the vintage...

I'm weird. I accept that. Just wait till I tell you about my run in with Alton Brown...accidentally spent $150 on meat. Yup.

Till then...

~ Latest cast-off of Top Chef

REDEEMED!

2008-05-13T19:41:00.002-04:00

So after the whole wheat pasta debacle, I had to redeem myself and find the old recipe from Bon Appetit that was similar except it was DELICIOUS!

I searched their database to no avail but I was able to review similar recipes and kind of figure it out. Here it is, courtesy of my vague memory and Bon Appetit:

1 lb of Fettuccine
1 sliced bell pepper
1/2 red onion, sliced
8 - 12 oz snow peas
1/4 cup crushed honey roasted peanuts

Sauce:
2T Soy Sauce
2T Balsamic Vinegar
2T Sesame Oil
3T Honey
1/4t Cayenne
(I put all of these into a small container with a lid and shake until well blended.

* Saute vegetables in a 1/2T of sesame oil until bite tender
* Chill the cooked pasta a little and add the sauce and vegetables.
* Refrigerate for at least 45 minutes. Add the peanuts right before you eat.

We sat down.

The dinner was beautiful.

And it was...delicious.

My husband ate it. I ate it. One son ate it. One son whined and then went to play with his cars.

3 out of 4 ain't bad in my book.

Oh, and it's better the next day!

~ Persistent Mama

My favorite things...

2008-05-13T19:34:00.002-04:00

So, it's been a bit stressful the last few days. It doesn't matter why...just that the little things can erase quite a bit. Here is what happened.

Nathan has been running fevers.

We do wake him in the middle of the night if they are high and give him Motrin.

Background:
We have also been waking them a bit, in general, in the morning to get them on a new - scratch that - back to their sleep schedule. When I come in to their room in the morning, I break into "Good Morning to You" sung to the birthday song.

Mike and I realized he needed Motrin one night, about 3am in the morning. Mike shook Nathan a little to get him to sit up and he actually bounced up, half asleep, eyes shut and sung "Good Morning to YOOOOOU! Good MORNING to YYYYYOOUUUUU!

It was so sweet. I so love our sweet boys. They are good medicine for me and Mike.

~ Peaceful Mama

A little good, a little gag...

2008-05-09T09:21:00.002-04:00

I really enjoy watching Top Chef. I covet the dishes, both to make them and to eat them. I long for the days when my spices were fresh and I could spend time in the kitchen making something fabulous. These days, I have until the final Thomas the Train song to get my dinner on the table, so I was excited to see an episode of Top Chef with family friendly recipes.

While I am pretty much rooting for Richard Blaise (extraordinary!) I have a soft spot for Antonia and she came up with this recipe - Stir Fry Whole Wheat Noodles.

They showed clips of all the chefs working with the kids and even a sweet conversation where Antonia and her daughter were on the phone.

When she got to the judges table, she explained that she and her daughter would make this meal together and she even won for it! I was SOLD! It had noodles and chicken and edamame and new items for the boys to try. Mike went to the grocery store and purchased the ingredients and I made it last night. Chicken was wonderful, I grilled it instead of stir fry.

We all sat down.

The dinner was beautiful.

I took a bite.

I think I gagged a little!

I think I am rejecting that awful back taste from a whole wheat noodle! WHAT! My whole system was rebelling against the nutritious replacement for the wonderful noodles that I have grown to love! Oh NO! I couldn't even eat the dinner, neither did the boys, but Mike cleaned his plate (Thank you, my Love)

I recalled a recipe from Bon Appetit that also used Fettuccine (the good kind), red pepper, snow peas and red onion and a wonderful sauce made from Balsamic, Soy, Honey, Cayenne (some other ingredient I can't remember) and crushed peanuts. WHY DIDN'T I MAKE THAT?

So the story is, the recipe, although it won...totally made me gag. I will find the Bon Appetit one and post.

Now the good part was the conversation that Antonia had with her daughter and the knock knock joke. So, I will leave you with that...

Antonia: KNOCK KNOCK

Daughter: Who's There?

Antonio: Smell Mop

Daughter: Smell Mop Who?

Antonio: Smell Mop Who? Get it????

And do you get it?

~ Hold the Whole Wheat Mama

Even my plants drink coffee

2008-05-08T08:44:00.002-04:00

I have a secret to share. Something delightful and delicious and perfect for summer. In fact, you can do so much with it, the possibilities are endless!

I am talking about homemade coffee coolattes! YES! BETTER THAN STARBUCKS!

A few years ago, I was introduced to this delicious drink as a “treat”. It was served in a small glass with some ice. I took one sip and WOW! These days, I find the largest cup that I can, drop a dainty amount of ice inside and pour a quart of coffee coolattes into my cup. And today is your lucky day because I will share with you how to make this wonderful, addictive treat.

First – invest in a Toddy Maker. You can order them online, I bought mine at a Barney’s. They are about $35 + tax.

Purchase 1lb of your favorite coffee. I should tell you that I use 1lb of Vanilla Hazelnut. It has been that way since the beginning and for fear that nothing will ever taste as good as the first cup that I had, I never get anything else. My nanny, who I am so sorry never drank coffee before she started working for me and now is addicted to both coffee coolattes AND Starbuck’s, has one of her own (Happy Birthday!) and experiments with lots of different flavors. Last I heard she used a Swiss Chocolate flavored coffee.

The directions for this drink also appear on the manual that comes with the Toddy Maker, not sure if it tells you to add the vanilla or not…so here goes:

14 oz coffee concentrate
1T of vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
Milk. I use 2% because that is what is in our house

I am talking YUMMY! In fact – and don’t tell the Mother of the Year Board…but my boys love this stuff! They say “SIP SIP SIP!” Sometimes, I will pour a little in their milk and they get all smiley and stuff and talk about drinking “coppee” because they don’t pronounce their f’s.

The leftover grounds can be added to your garden. I can only imagine what it will do to my Basil and peppers.

So there it is…my summer secret…delicious treat to start off the morning. In fact, I think I will go downstairs and get my 2nd cup!

~ Coppee Mom

Katie Couric's Poor Performance Review

2008-05-05T23:31:00.004-04:00

Have you seen the scuttlebutt?

A few weeks ago, I began to see news leaks on hard core news sites and by news, I mean gossip, that Katie Couric was being released from her contract. WHAT?

I am not here to recap her career, I wasn't really a fan except that someone deemed "cute" was making the big bucks on a morning show. A little morning show called the "Today Show". When she left, the offer on the table at the "Today Show" was $20mm and the offer for CBS Evening News was $15mm. Even with the lower salary, she was the highest paid anchor. Imagine that! So, in theory, she was probably a top performer (by mainstream corporate standards) solidified by her ratings and her overall audience appeal. Nice legs!

Now with her ratings in the tanker and rumors that she is being let go, I can only imagine the conversation...

Head Honcho: Katie, you know we felt strongly in bringing you aboard to replace Dan Rather.

Katie: Yes Mr. Cheese and I believe we are building our base as we speak, hitting new markets and opening doors for women to believe they are empowered to achieve top ranking positions in male dominated fields.

Head Honcho: Yes, Katie, that is all well and good but our ad revenues our down and we are unable to justify your salary with the current ratings in the tanker. I am afraid...

Katie: But WAIT! There's MORE! I am a BRAND and people identify with me. Perhaps we need to change my wardrobe or present a softer side. Moderate changes may help to connect me to our core audience.

Head Honcho: Katie, it's not working. We are letting you out of your contract. We will draft a statement to the press that says you have decided to pursue other opportunities. Or we could say that you have been assigned to special projects. Let us know what you choose. Boxes are already in your corner office suite. We wish you the best of luck.

So, in my everyday average moments of insecurity. When I wonder if I am good enough or smart enough or will I be the best at something, I will think of Katie...and wonder which scenario it really is...

1) Everyone is and can be the best at something. Find it, work for it and you will be rewarded handsomely.
*OR*
2) Every dog has his day.

Even the best can have an off day or take a risk to do something different and not succeed. For the most part, I believe the latter for her and the very public decision to move to the evening news is coming back around in the serious and not-so-serious news media outlets. She has to go through this poor performance review in front of everyone. How will she handle it? Will she take it in stride and move on to the next great chapter or will we find her covering Hollywood on TMZ.

My guess is the next great chapter...because the best bounce back from taking risks that don't pan out and find the next great adventure in their career.

~ Cheerleader Mama

Like we need another blog about Pee

2008-05-04T22:40:00.005-04:00

Look, I get it.

There are at least 12, 432 blogs with Mom's talking about their babies. They think they are really funny telling you all their kid stories. Let's face it. You are either over the kid-thing or have no interest.

Today, is not about you. It's about me.

Guess how many times I said Pee Pee? I'm thinking 120. No wait, 531.

Do you know how many times I rationalize why pee or poop should go into a potty? At least a million.

I even go through a laundry list of credible people that pee or poop in the potty. Don't laugh. You're name is probably in there. Yep, I use EVERYONE I know. I want it to sound like a lot of people use the potty.

I use bribes. So what they have sugar. Skittles and Gummi Bears. Sometimes I remember, sometimes they don't. I usually let it slide until Nathan informs me that I own him 4 skittles and 3 Gummi bears and he has 5 fingers flashing in my face. Nice math, kid.

But, toward the end of the day, he was telling me that he could feel the pee pee coming. We ran excitedly to the potty. We talked about how AWESOME it was. He told me he was proud of me. My words, coming back to me, he just parrots them back, but I needed it.

The reality is that I was more afraid of this than he was. I am still selfish and do not wish to spend every 30 seconds asking my kid if he needs to pee pee. I dreaded this moment because it would consume my day and I wouldn't be able to get out of the house. I am sure I rolled my eyes hundreds of times at the mommy in her velour sweat suit bribing her kid to go potty. Ugh. That would never be me. No way.

Gulp. It's me. Granted, I wouldn't wear a velour sweat suit...but still. I see them in a whole different light. These women are not wimps. They are trying to get there kid (and themselves) through one of the major passages in childhood. One that is not easy and is frequently stressful as pre-schools require the kids to be potty trained. They put it off, like I am sure I did. They read several books. I didn't do that. But I did think about it. How do I get them both through this? How many potties? What technique? How can I get it done in 2 days? I can't handle them both. And then it dawned on me...do Nathan first. Jamie will come along later.

So far so good but I basically pass the torch tomorrow morning.

I will think about him all day hoping he feels good about himself that he can do this on his own. Hopefully he remembers to tell his teachers. He really is a sweet kid and gets this goofy expression on his face when he amazes himself. It's sweet and I know he is growing up and these years will fly by. Before I know, they will be leaving for college and this memory will be all but gone.

These good thoughts will be fleeting...Jamie's next and well, he's a whole different ball game my friend. Until then...

~ Exhausted Mama

Drowning in Diapers

2008-05-04T14:54:00.002-04:00

OH MY GOD

I am drowning in diapers.

I don't know if it would be better to be asking the boys "Do you feel the pee-pee coming?" every 30 seconds or just let them continue on in diapers.

I did the math.

Approximately 12 diapers per day (some more, some less but averaged)

2 boys

3 years =

13,140 DIAPERS

Does that shock you? I am so over the little tapes and the diaper cream stuck on my hands and the accidentally getting poo on my finger when I go to check the back of their pants.

Tired of chasing Jamie because he likes to hide when he poops. In a corner. Like we can't see him or something. But I HEAR him. Grunting.

Nathan is in training pants this weekend. Why not both you ask? Have you ever tried to eat an elephant? So, I am taking one bite at a time.

Me: Nathan, do you feel the pee pee coming?

Nathan: No Mom. Look at Lightening McQueen.

Me: Nathan, do you already have pee pee in your underwear.

Nathan: No POOP!

Me: Are you serious?

Nathan: No Mommmmmm. Where is Doc Hudson?

And on and on and on and on.

Tomorrow, I will hand Nathan and 30 pairs of training pants over to preschool. They have him 3 days this week and Mike the other 2. I am praying, PRAYING that this thing is over by next weekend.

And I will be heard in the grocery store saying, every 30 seconds, "Nathan, do you feel the pee pee coming?"

Then, round 2 begins and Jamie is up to bat. But since he LIKES to sit in poop, I have to devise another plan.

If anything has eaten braincells, it would be stressing over getting pee and poo to a location that is manageable.

Heaven help Mothers everywhere.

~ Diaper Queen

10 Surprising Things My Boys Won't Eat

2008-04-26T14:20:00.001-04:00

1. Mashed Potatoes
2. Rice - I never make it plain, mostly Risotto and they have only eaten it once. While watching their Dad. Copy cat.
3. Meat - as a sure thing. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.
4. Tortillas with cheese - without picking the cheese out.
5. Cream Cheese
6. Soup. Nathan will eat Tomato but that's it.
7. Beans - other than Bush's, but who can resist Bush's Baked Beans
8. Bacon. This is pure insanity to me. Who WOULDN'T like Bacon? They at least it in the Turkey burgers.
9. Hot Dogs. Aren't all kids supposed to love Hot Dogs?
10. Brownies. Tried it. I think they are too rich.

~ Rice, Potato, Tortilla, Cream Cheese, Bacon lovin' Mama

Two Little Girls in a Little Doll House

2008-04-24T08:21:00.002-04:00

There is a world that I dreamed of as a little girl. Frequently, that world came to life on a little show called Sesame Street (or Little Rascals - you know, the one where they owned the nightclub and Darla was a flapper?)

This clip is wonderful, you'll probably watch it more than once because you can imagine singing it to yourself while doing dishes or tucking in your daughter.

My boys even like this. I sing it to them and they don't even mind that I am off-key.

Vintage Sesame Street

~ Mama to ... 1, 2 - 2 little boys

Another Fine Recipe

2008-04-22T18:59:00.001-04:00

I just couldn't resist sharing a recipe for turkey burgers. We had these last week and the boys just gobbled them up. Just know that they don't eat a lot of meat and so this is quite an achievement. The recipe is not mine, I got it from "Semi-homemade with Sandra Lee". I don't use a lot of her ideas but I did love this one to pieces and so did the family.

Apple Maple Turkey Burgers with Maple-Dijon Sauce

A few things I learned:
1. We grill these and they are the best when grilled. And I mean outdoor grill. The George Foreman grill totally dried these things out.
2. I can't seem to make the sweet potato fries crispy. If you figure it out, let me know.
3. I tried to find unsweetened applesauce chunks because the sweetened kind are too much. I ended up using unsweetened applesauce.
4. We actually eat these without the bun. I kept having leftover buns or getting moldy buns so I gave up. Now we eat them with just some of the maple-dijon sauce. Still, very, very good.
5. I buy good bacon. Yummy, thick, with some fat-on-it bacon. The burgers are very moist.
6. You may have two options when buying ground turkey: white breast only or just ground turkey. If you buy the ground breast meat, the bacon more than makes up for the possible dryness.
7. One time, I put too much applesauce in or didn't fully drain the turkey meat and they wouldn't stay in form on the grill.

I think that is it on these. They are delicious. If you like them, I recommend that you print the recipe because the Food Network sometimes takes down recipes.

~ Food mama

Happy Birthday Little Brother

2008-04-20T13:48:00.007-04:00

I never forget and didn't forget, the card just usually gets delayed.

1972: Jimmy, me, you

I can't believe that we have grown so much, it's hard to look at you and see you as an adult. You were the coolest kid, so fun, so friendly and easy. Easy to like, easy to love.

I dream of winning the lottery and buying a huge parcel of land so that you, Jimmy and I can live a few acres apart, connected by golf cart paths. Far enough away for privacy, but close enough to have Happy Hour on Friday nights like Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Grandma. We would start a business and be happy and our kids would play together. I imagine us on warm summer evenings drinking Scarlett O'Haras; we would laugh alot, sing songs from Grease and play spades until sunrise.

I suspect we won't have the compound that I dream of but know that I always think of you and am so proud of the man that you have become. Although, I will always remember you most as a kid.

Of greatest joy to me, is that I see your nature in my boys. I am grateful that the David gene is embedded in my sons. I sometimes call out Jimmy and David rather than Jamie and Nathan. I laugh a little at how easily your name is called out. It seems like it was just yesterday...

My best to you sweet brother. I love you.

Stephanie

Dream Diary - 2

2008-04-20T09:42:00.004-04:00

This is actually, somewhat of a recurring dream in principle. So here is the latest version.

I dreamt that it was night time and everyone was sleep.

I realized that our bed was moving up and down as if by a ghost or something. Mike agreed that we should immediately fly out and get with someone who works to rid your house of ghosts.

We hop on a plane but realize the boys are still in the house alone. Mike tells me to call 911 so that they (police) can go see what is happening to our bed and to protect the boys from the ghosts. I tell him we need someone there to watch the boys and we realize we will not be able to get back before they wake up. We start calling his parents, our neighbors, our nanny and his sister, but no one will answer their phone in the middle of the night and the police and fire trucks are on their way to our house and they will see that no one is there with the boys.

I tell Mike that we will be arrested for child endangerment. It makes me sick to think I would leave my boys alone in the house. Why did we do this?

~ Dream Over

Afterthought:
I don't know why I keep dreaming this - leaving the boys alone in the house while they sleep. I just keep dreaming a different version of the same thing. I would never do this but somehow, it keeps showing up. I remember reading once that dreams are manifestations of what you fear or want. This may be the general fear that I will do something stupid or make a bad decision where my boys are concerned and leaving them alone in the house is one of the more obvious bad decisions one could make because you just wouldn't do it.

You have probably read newspaper stories where people leave their kids alone in the house (toddler/baby age) for several days and the horrible condition they are found in. In a general sense, I have a similar reaction to other parents making bad decisions for their kids. It makes me ill.

Fitflops!

2008-04-16T10:19:00.007-04:00

I am going to look F I N E fine this summer!

My manager recommended these combo flip-flop/sneaker shoes that give you a good work out when you wear them. They are called FitFlops and I purchased them at my favorite girlie online shopping site, Bliss.

I think my husband will be excited. He hates my Birkenstocks and I hate to wear sneakers so I have the best of both worlds now and will use them on our trip to California next week.

I love the fact that when you wear them, they help you work out your legs. That fits with my schedule, so I am going to wear them all day long while I work so they will be working my legs!!!

Wait...let me see the directions here...

Ooops...

You actually have to wear them while you are walking. Okay, so let me think about this....

So, let's see...I will wear them every time I walk outside. And to the store. And to the mailbox. Which, all of a sudden, doesn't sound like a whole lot of walking.

Oh well, my dreams of great gams are diminishing by the second.

At least they're cute sandals.

~ (Maybe) Lovely Leggy Mama

Dream Diary - 1

2008-04-15T08:45:00.003-04:00

I had this dream the other night.

There were 2 or 3 assassins holding a guy in their room. A woman and her son were on the porch outside. The room was in a hotel.

I was not IN the room or any of the people but watching.

The FBI or other law enforcement agency was down stairs looking for the assassins.

No crime or understanding of why the guy was being held.

The most memorable moment was when the woman on the porch escaped down to the lobby of the hotel. An assassin chased her down and was just footsteps behind her.

She ran into the atrium lobby looking for help. She saw the law enforcement agent with his gun up near his ear scanning the area. She tried to call out but the assassin caught her. He was dressed all in black and his face was covered.

My dream went to slow motion as this point. She turned and caught the eye of the agent. She said nothing but her face was saying, "this is him" and the agent shot the assassin dead.

Dream Over

Dear Mother Nature, I'm Sorry.

2008-04-15T08:32:00.002-04:00

Dear Mother Nature,
I'm sorry about the Dragon Fly. It was such a windy day, he probably got worn out in the 15 - 20 mph gusts or maybe he broke a wing. He looked so peaceful as he sat on our porch. I really wanted the boys to see him because they had not seen a Dragon Fly up close. There weren't very gentle when they were petting him or her...I don't know. I haven't learned the identifying characteristics of the anatomy of the Dragon Fly.

It seemed like maybe he would live because he was just tired. The boys wanted to count his legs. There were six so that was good. They wanted to count his wings. There were four, so that was good too. We couldn't see that anything was broken and the boys just wanted to touch the delicate wings.

I decided to take him to the flowering Phlox - hoping that if he was dying, that it was the best place for him to do so. Again, not sure about what Dragonflies think are important.

The boys followed me over. After I sat him down, we talked about how he might be sick or hurt and the boys were worried, except that didn't really care and wanted to carry the Dragonfly all over the back yard. He was like a pet to them. I figured if I walked away, they would too. They didn't. They kept picking him up and walking around.

After awhile, I noticed they stopped and started fanning the flowers as if they had lost him. Hopefully, he was able to find every ounce of strength and cunning to hide from them. I heard them yell, "Where'd he go?" and I knew, he was safe...or dead.

As much as I want my boys to be interested in all things you offer, I am afraid that they will think you and all of your gifts are invincible. As they grow, I hope they become your protector and guard and find ways to help you and yours flourish and see that the delicate ones are taken care of.

We begin planting our garden in the coming weeks...an homage to Spring.

We'll watch for butterflies and dragonflies and worms.

Thanks.

~ Mama to Bug Lovers

Oranges and Sun Tan Lotion

2008-04-10T10:11:00.005-04:00

Last night, the boys had to take a bath. I burned 30,000 calories! Niiiiice.

Not sure if scrubbed them enough though...

I was putting Nathan to bed last night and he smelled like oranges and sun tan lotion.

Sunshine and summer. Is there anything nicer?

~ Summer-ready Mom

Two Perfect Oranges

2008-04-09T19:12:00.004-04:00

Occasionally, I experience "magic moments", times that were just so good, you cannot recreate them. They live with you for decades and you remember them as clear as the day and minute they occurred. I had one tonight and it was a long time coming.

A few things to know about me:

1. My boys are picky eaters. At almost 3, they are squashing my "fire" as a cook.

2. I don't really like oranges.

When I was about 15, I was over at my best-friend's house. Her name was Lisa. And she was the quintessential best friend and the exact kind you hope for your kids to have during their school years. I still miss her today. My memories of her are so rich and easy to recall.

It was an ordinary day, we were at her house. I cannot recall anything else about that day. I don't know why I was there or what we did that day, with the exception of about 20 minutes. I can't explain WHY this is what I remember, but it is. She pulled out an orange. Although we had them at our house, it was always something my brothers liked, not me. They were odd. They had this white stuff I could not get off. They had weird skin, I just did not eat them. I couldn't even peel them.

We were laughing, talking about boys and school in general, I'm sure. She peeled the orange. We sat on top of her kitchen counter. The orange was so cold and so sweet, I forgot about the weird skins and enjoyed the sweet, juicy burst of sunshine that slid down my throat. It was, in a word, magic. I remember those 20 minutes like they were last week. I have not enjoyed an orange since that day. Until this evening.

Jamie playing with trains.

2 Oranges in the fridge. I must have been thinking about Lisa when I was in the grocery store and bought them. Taking a chance on loving them the way I did in that moment so long ago.

I don't know how to peel them. I had to use a sharp knife. I grabbed the orange and a napkin and took it to the table.

Nathan at the table eating Jamie's grilled cheese.

He asked for a Peach. A tiny piece.

Me: Nathan, this is an orange. Orrrr anggge.

I struggle to get the weird white stuff of the orange. I fail. I hand it to him anyway. He pops it in his mouth. Weird look on his face. Oh well. I'm not that fond of them either. Then... he gets this grin on his face.

Nathan: ORANGE!!!

I take a bite. It's sweet and juicy, unimaginable sweet, almost cartoon-esque in the absolute richness of the orange flavor. DE-LICIOUS!

Nathan and I took turns eating pieces of the orange. Tiny pieces and big pieces. White weird stuff and all. Chunky, odd-shaped pieces because I can't peel the orange so that it is a perfect wedge. Not like Lisa, but this...this was a magic moment. Me and Nate. Nate and me. Just the two of us, eating the only other perfect orange in the whole, wide, world.

I think I just might like oranges, maybe, a little bit.

~ Orange-i-licious Mama

"Publix" Service Announcement

2008-04-02T14:09:00.002-04:00

I have officially lost my cooking mojo. No really. It's gone. I have gone stale with my exposure to new condiments, spices, anything. Gone, baby gone.

Mostly my brain is drained from having debates with my boys over the plan for dinner...

My Plan: Chili!

Jamie: Chickens!

Me: Not chicken, Chili!

Jamie No Mom. Chickens!

Nathan: Eggs!

They look at their plate and determine which item is most familiar and eat that. Then say they are all done. Swooosh! It sucks the creativity out of you.

Lately, I have been looking through cookbooks and newspapers for ideas on dinner...until a little inspiration hit me in the form of the cooking demo lady for Aprons, a Publix service for their customers! The food is, in a word, fantastic!

Last night, I made Calypso Chicken and Island Rice. We cooked everything outside on the grill and it really was wonderful! I didn't even mind that the boys didn't eat a single bite, in fact, I LOVED it because I enjoyed a wonderful (and plentiful) lunch!

A few weeks ago, I had my first bite of Tilapia - I should have known then that my new best friend - and inspiration - was a sweet woman at the demo stand in my supermarket. She is enthusiastic, tells you how easy it is and I get a nice little snack in the process. Here is the recipe for Lime Butter Fish with Easy Herb Pasta.

To make it easy for you, they have all of the ingredients right there for you so you don't have to hunt all of the store. And the best part? A little recipe card - FREE - to add to your collection!!!

So, for all of you seeking inspiration for a wonderful meal, I recommend checking out your local Publix or access their site for more recipes.

~ Calypso Island Mama

Croc it Out!!!

2008-03-27T10:41:00.004-04:00

I totally caved...I thought these shoes were so weird and really for little girls.

Now both boys have some and love them!!! Green and Blue and pretty cute.

I might have to get some black Mary Jane crocs...but only for gardening.

~ Croc-in Mama

Cars and Trucks and Airplanes

2008-03-26T22:20:00.012-04:00

Well, I have my Gant chart set up and I am project managing the boys room!

It took me 7 months but I finally decided on a quilt for the boys. I just hate to make a snap decision. :) We have one wall that is a deep red and the other three walls are a light blue. They love all kinds of cars and trucks so I bought this from Land of Nod:

They have different motor vehicles and under them, the color is spelled out!!! Too cute - bought the shams too AND the sheets to match.

This little display is so cute! I will place them in the same arrangement on their blue wall. Jamie thought they would look good on the ceiling.

This little rug is an actual map! The sham looks almost exactly the same way and the boys are already driving their little Sheriff, Lightening McQueen and Hudson Hornet the famous race car with red wheels around the roads.

These are actually 2 beds they butt together to form a carpenters square. We can use the drawers in the bottom for storage and they both will fit in the boys room. The beds are from Pottery Barn Kids and are the last big purchase after the mattresses and before the rest of the decorations and possible dresser and/or side table. Depends on the leftover space.

We thought about bunk beds but my boys already jump off of furniture and yell "Skydivin'!!!". The bunk beds just screamed broken arm to me. So we'll stick with these for now.

I am so slow on making decisions. I am glad I started on this last August. I am hoping to have everything in place by the time the boys are 3. Whew! This has been fun. Will post pictures when I am done.

~ Decorator Mama

So I asked Nathan what he wanted for dinner...

2008-03-24T18:34:00.003-04:00

He says, "Easter Bunny Sandwich."

Who knows where little kids get these things from? If you think he has seen it on tv or during an Easter Egg Hunt, they have not. I sang them "Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail" a few times, but that's it. Oh, and they did get a few Easter things from their Aunt/Uncle and Grandparents. But a sandwich?

Now, how do I a make an Easter Bunny Sandwich...?

~ Mom of Bunny Eater

What brings me to my knees

2008-03-23T11:21:00.005-04:00

So, today I planned this big day. The boys are getting ready to move into big boy beds, Easter is tomorrow and we wanted to have an egg hunt and I needed to hit the grocery store. These used to be my favorite kind of days, before Mike and before the boys. A day all to myself, to find the things I need and to eat a little lunch while reading a good magazine. Luxurious now, to have some time to myself so I was really looking forward to it.

The boys have been sick. Of what, we don’t know but they have had fevers that we are fighting with Tylenol or Motrin. The have gotten as high as 104.2 and remained in the 102 – 103.8 range. Feels like you are fighting a blind enemy. So, in order to have a little more information about the cause and if it was serious, Mike headed to the Pediatrician’s office while I headed to an urgent care to take care of my own failing health.

We’ve been hit hard with viruses the last 4 weeks to it’s just about time to get us all on antibiotics and fumigate the household…

Karen came over to stay with the boys while I went on my day. I had checked their temps and both were 100.0 or below, which is pretty normal. I took off for the mall! It has been at least 2 years since I have been shopping at the mall and I had some twin mattresses to buy! I was so excited to be getting the boys ready to exit their baby beds.

And then…happy single girl day turned into terrified Mom day…it goes something like this (paraphrased as my memory is a bit foggy)

Cell Rings…

Karen: Nathan’s lips are blue and he’s shaking.

Stephanie: Shaking like shivering or shaking violently?

Karen: Shaking. And all he wants to do is lie down. He says “Lie down feel better”

Stephanie: Um, I don’t know whether to call 911 or the Nurse’s line. Call me back in 10 minutes to let me know how he is.

Karen: Okay.

I call Mike.

Mike: Are you calling 911?

Stephanie: I am just waiting to see if it passes. I told her to call me back after about 10 minutes to see how he was doing otherwise we would call the nurses’ line.

Mike: You need to call 911.

Stephanie: I think it will be okay. She’ll call me back and if there is still a problem she can call the nurses line. It’ll be fine. (Did you just hear the suction of my Mommy points being sucked into a whirlpool?)

I am now panicing and call Karen’s number. It keeps going to voicemail. I finally get her.

Karen: I am on the phone giving the nurse the information. His lips are even darker and he is still shaking. He keeps wanting to go to sleep but I won’t let him.

Stephanie: That’s probably the answering service. Call 911. I’m scared and coming home.

Every red light was on. Traffic was terrible.

I call Mike…it sucked.

Stephanie: She’s calling 911. Mike, I’m scared. (and crying)

Mike: I’m on my way home.

A week ago, Mike told me he had a dream. The dream was essentially him calling me to find out how I am doing. My response was something like…”Nathan died but other than that, I’m fine.”

This conversation is now playing in my head over and over and I am crying. Terrified. Why did I leave? Why didn’t I have her call 911 right away? What if he dies?

The traffic is terrible. What laws am I allowed to break? How can I get home faster?

I call Karen back and she says that “they” would send someone over. The fire station is actually 2 – 3 miles away so I find some comfort in that.

Knowing that an ambulance was on it’s way made me feel better but a weird calm came over me. Where was that calm when I needed it?

By the time I got home, the firemen were leaving and telling me he was okay. The Paramedics were giving me advice and telling me this was the most common run for a 2-year old. They believe it was a Febrile seizure.

And it was over. A little Tylenol and some love and this terrified mom just wanted to cry.

What if it had been worse? What would I have done? No one could have every warned me of how vulnerable you are when you have children. The complete terror that you go through when you think something terrible is happening to your child…and you’re not there.

I’m glad it’s over. I’m a little wiser. My sweet boy is fine and none the wiser…as he pesters me this morning to name each and every Thomas character in the catalog.

~ A grateful mama

When I'm feeling blue...

2008-03-20T09:23:00.005-04:00

All I have to do, is take a look at you...
Then I'm not so blue.

You have to admit that they bring smile to your face. I love Guido's Italian afro!

~ Call me Sally

The Versatility of Ramen Noodles

2008-03-18T09:41:00.002-04:00

Here are the top 10 reasons I love ramen noodles:

1. You can fix them in less than 5 minutes.
2. They are about $.25 per package
3. My boys love them!
4. My husband loves them!
5. When you are sick, they are a nice comfort food.
6. The boys will put one end of the noodle in their mouth and put the opposite end in my mouth so that we can SLURP! Cute!
7. You can make them nutritious by adding steamed vegetables
8. You can make them gourmet by sautéing flavorful vegetables and unusual seasonings (like chili pepper and garlic)
9. After sitting for a few minutes, they can be a long term binding agent to be used throughout your household.
10. They can be swept up or wiped off easily once they harden (which is the next stage in their bonding cycle).

~ Foodie

Reenacting a Spectacular Fall

2008-03-17T10:43:00.004-04:00

My boys attack life with every ounce in their 30 lb bodies. Every new experience is an absolute joy. So much so, in some cases, they like to reenact the very moment, over and over again. I love that. How many times in our lives do we have the time to just stop and do something 10, 20, 30 times, because it was just so much fun the first time. Amazingly, the experience is just as spectacular the first time as it is the last time.

The boys are especially proficient at reenacting a spectacular fall, so much so, it becomes a carefully orchestrated stunt. I have seen Nathan slide across our hard word floor in socks, slip on his butt and conk his head on a dining chair…only to try it again. Each time he laughs. “Look at me!” he exclaims.

This evening, the fall became a newly invented trick. The boys were playing with these foam Tow Mater chairs. They are small, fit for a little kid, and programmed to say really funny things…my favorite is “I’m ticklish on my bumper”…tee hee hee. I giggle a little each time I hear it, but I digress.

Jamie sat in the chair and proceeded to push so hard backwards that the chair tipped backward with a little, smooshy, thud. “Whoa!” Nathan witnessed the whole thing. Next thing you know, they both sit in the chair and fall slowly backward with another smooshy thud. They decide to move their chairs to a new location and do it again. This whole …move the chair, fall backwards and move again…went on for about 10 minutes. I couldn’t stop it, I was enjoying it too much. I couldn’t remember the last time I did something so amazing, I just had to do it over and over again. How wonderful to still be amazed at an experience and have the time to practice until your accident is nothing short of a perfect event. If I could only be so lucky.

~ Envious Mama

New Year's Resolution

2008-01-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

So maybe if I write it down, I will actually do it...

Number One
Stop reading gossip mags. Bad habit, like reading a trashy novel. I know more about Brittney Spears than the candidates for election. I will read more about world news.

Number Two
Be a little more patient with my three guys. When I am tired or stressed, I expect immediate and exact following of my instructions. Pretty unrealistic for my free-spirited men. It's me, believe me.

Number Three
Be open to constructive feedback. This happens mostly with my Miguel and business partners at work. Although I can be self deprecating at times, I almost expect that everything I do is perfect or that no one should notice errors. I need to get over myself.

Okay that's it for me...so far my health is good and I am pretty organized, so those aren't on my list...or should they be?

Keeping up with the Jetsons

2007-12-09T16:05:00.000-05:00

Picture this:

Jane Jetson receives a call in the morning, before she has had time to shower and put on her make-up. She grabs for her special "mask" that makes it appear as though she as been perfectly coiffed and answers the phone. Since it is in the future, she has a video phone and her friend sees her looking perfect and is none the wiser. Do you remember that? I loved the Jetson's - here's the theme song:

Jetson's Theme

I don't claim to be one of those that keep up with the Jones' but these days, I am keeping up with the Jetson's.

We downloaded Skype to our computers and added a Webcam. Mike's sister and parents also have a webcam. We are able to call each other and talk and for anyone with the webcam, we are the Jetson's. The boys are so infatuated with it they YELL into the computer and wave. Just incredible. I am hoping to connect with family across the country so that I can see them and hear them too. It's hard to travel these days - as the boys get older, it will definitely get easier. Until then, we'll rely on our video phone.

Now, if I could only find my Jane Jetson mask...

~ Another Jane

Pee Pee in the Potty, Sort-of

2007-11-30T10:02:00.000-05:00

If only...

Last night the boys were getting out of the tub. I was drying off Nathan...then Jamie popped out of the tub. I dried him off too. Nathan was shivering so I went back to drape the towel around his shoulders. Jamie headed over the little potty...

When what to my wandering eyes should appear,
but a miniature kid with his leg hiked up to his ear!
The potty was open and pee was en-route
the golden stream flew high with 80% out...
Only 20% in but a kid with a smile
I'll had this to my little miracle file!

I need to get crackin'!

~ Mom to Pee'r O'Potty

Disney's Magic

2007-11-23T07:48:00.000-05:00

(apologies in advance for a consolidated blog of our trip to Disney)

Clearly I have lost brain matter since having the boys so the trip is somewhat of a blur. I actually started this on vacation but I never had time to keep it up. Any down time was spent healing my back and feet and curling into the fetal position until the boys came bounding in the next day saying "Hi Mom!HowYaDoin MOM?" (letters purposly run together to simulate Nathan turning a sentence into one word)

They were the best of times, they were the worst of times...such was the theme of the trip. My memory is more in sound bites so I will replay both good and chaotic memories - and not necessarily in order.

1. Mike went old school on me...doesn't believe in strollers.
When the boys were babies, Mike saw a toddler in a stroller in Target. He couldn't believe the kid wasn't walking around. Thought the parent needed to get him out of the stroller. (Huh?) Fast forward to Disney, millions of people, overtired kids...no stroller. If the boys weren't running around, I was carrying one of them. Ugh. There were three, half-days that I convinced him to use a stroller. Two out of three were a bad idea.
Upside? 5 - 6 miles a day carrying dead weight, easily a 30,000 calorie-a-day burn. I figured since I burned all those calories, I could eat lots of chocolate when I got home Aaahhh! The Magic of Disney!

2. Sleep? No sleep.
The boys were so overwhelmed that we couldn't get them to nap. We had to throw every technique out the window and think fast - we needed them to sleep more than 8 hours a day. We employed two techniques. The first is called the "Starbuck's Strategy". This is where you use the combination of your navigation system and laptop to find all of the Starbuck's within a 100 mile radius. Midway through the day, we plop the kids in their carseats and take off. They end up asleep in about 10 minutes and we get our coffee. The 2nd strategy was to lie in bed with them at night until they fell asleep. I loved doing that and wish it was easy to do at night at home but as Cassie always says, "don't do anything you don't want to do forever". It worked at Disney and they slept well after the 1st night.

Downside - Nathan teething so he would leave huge, soaking wet spots on my shirts when he fell asleep on me. (but I wouldn't trade it)

3. LaQueen and TOW Mater (a.k.a. Lightening McQueen and Mater)
They love the movie. They love the cars. They play with them, carry them around in pockets, lose them outside. They line them up, match them in pairs. Drive them around the floors but meet them in person? Not the reaction I expected.

4. "Jamie, meet Mickey, Mickey. Mickey meet Jamie"
We met Mickey. Jamie was fascinated meeting him. Even waiting for him, the boys were patient as they remained glued to a tv watching cartoons. Nothing short of a miracle.

5. Finally, a BEER!
On our last day at Disney, we visited EPCOT which turned out to be a real hit. You mostly think of it as a playground for older kids and adults. We played the first part of the day at Innoventions, World of Imagination, Turtle Talk with Crush and the Living Seas with Nemo. After lunch, we toured the World Showcase. About 1/3 through, the boys fell asleep IN THE STROLLER! Could it be? Asleep? You know what that means?!?! We hit the beer vendor and pay $15 for two beers. May sound crazy but I handed the cast member my money with glee! With the boys asleep, we could easily take pictures of them because they were sitting still. We went to one of the pavillions to add onto Mike's troll collection.

Hilarious? I thought so. Mike didn't see it as funny as I did.

6. Our first ride
One of my favorite memories will be riding the tram our first day to Disney MGM studios. It was warm, the boys were lovin' it. Their little faces turned toward the sun with the win blowing through their hair. It was magic.

7. Nathan hits on some girls.
The morning we went to EPCOT, we were parking our stoller in the stroller "parking lot". We turned away from Nathan and heard a young women giggling. When we turned around. He was holding hands with a miniature princess. She was all dressed up like Belle and Nathan was holding her hand. Good thing she had a twin sister ;)

8. Dude, Turtle Talk with Crush is Awesome!
Kids up front, adults in back. We took the kids with us because they were a little young. They were squealing and yelling and having the best time...and so were we. They have two cast members that can play that part. It's completely improvisational and I imagine him with little electrodes hooked to his face because "Crush" has facial expressions while he is talking - expressions that go to what he is saying! It was incredible! In a time when it is hard to amaze me, I was amazed.

9. GirWAFF!
Our room at the Animal Kingdom faced the Savannah. We had the giraffes outside of room every day. Spectacular. They were so close. The weirdest think was this bird that sounded like a cat. He would sit across the way and make sounds early in the morning. I kept hearing him around 6am and thinking someone brought their cat. I was so groggy and barely awake but I kept hearing that sound! Then I started to wonder if they brought a litter box and where they hid it and if they put him in the kennel and by then, I had completely over analyzed the situation and I was up...

There is more but I am sure Google will stop me soon. As a former cast member, I cannot think of Disney as anything other than a fantasy, pure magic. The first few days left me wondering if you could still find the magic in the rat race of kids and people. But I did. And it was. 15 years ago I found my way to a place that will always be in my heart. A place I hope to return someday, as a cast member once more. Although this time, they're paying me more than $5.25 an hour.

~ just another former cast member and MOM

Tow Mater! Tow Mater!

2007-11-18T22:50:00.001-05:00

I started Christmas shopping early this year. I want everything to be here on time and I did not want to stress out waiting for things to be shipped.

I really love shopping for the boys, I get to re-live my childhood and this time, I have more than a $2.00 weekly allowance to spend. My most recent obsession, I mean, the boys' most recent obsession are the Pixar Cars Die Cast cars. I bought them a few to start off with…Doc, Lightening McQueen, Leak Less and Chick Hicks. They carried them around for days. Each of the cars was only about $3 - $5. WOW! I can buy lots! So I headed back to Wal-Mart to buy more...unfortunately they didn't have Tow Mater. I decided that I would get online and order Tow Mater for a stocking stuffer.

I have ordered and received several boxes of presents so far and I am stashing them in my office – my sacred and (until now) undisturbed sanctuary. This past week the boys realized they could open doors and burst into my office. I wasn’t all that concerned until I heard them screeching “TOW MATER”. OH NO! I ran in and took the toys out of their hands and ushered them out…hoping that I could distract them and they would soon forget.

Well, that didn’t happen. In the middle of the night, Jamie woke up and I went in to check on him. I stayed with him a little bit and went back to my own bed. 10 minutes later, Jamie is crying out “TOW MATER! TOW MATER”!

Hmmm...now what do I do? They are so excited about it right now - what if they forget about him by Christmas?

Next day, they broke into my office again. This time, I was smarter and I hid the boxes in the closet. Much to my dismay, I didn’t see that one of the Tow Mater’s had dropped on the floor. Next words I heard…”TOW MATER!!!!”.

Today they enjoyed playing with Lightening McQueen and Tow Mater.

Merry Christmas.

~ Tow Mater's Biggest Fan

The Twin-ner Sanctum

2007-11-18T20:40:00.000-05:00

I entered the twinner sanctum tonite. You know, the place where you witness the unique connection between twins or brothers or sisters, when you suddenly feel like odd man out. You don’t get their jokes but they are laughing at what they are doing.

But I guess I need to back up a bit.

About two weeks ago, I noticed something strange in the morning. I shook it off as a bad memory. Mike or I go into the boys’ room each morning to get them out of their cribs. Lately, I have noticed that Jamie’s blanket is in Nathan’s bed or the train I gave Nathan is in Jamie’s bed. I wasn’t sure about it, but well, we are always just putting things in their bed so it’s easy to but each other’s stuff into the other’s crib.

Tonite, I was putting the boys to bed. I was reading the last book, when the negotiations began. They each had four of the Pixar Cars Die Cast models.

JAMIE: Doc! Nate Doc! Doc Nate!

(I think he is saying good nite so I reach up to take Doc and say good nite)

JAMIE: Nate Doc! Nate Doc!

(Nathan stands up and gets on his toes and leans way over and grabs Doc)

NATHAN: Tow Mater! Tow Mater!

Jamie reaches down and grabs the sacred Tow Mater (more on that later) and stands on his toes and leans way over and hands Tow Mater to Nathan.

The giggling begins.

NATHAN: Leak Less Jamie, Jamie Leak Less!

Jamie stands on his toes and reaches out to take Leak Less from Nathan.

At this point, I do not exist. At all.

I am watching and realizing this explains how all of the toys, clothes, blankets and pillows are landing in different cribs. They are laughing and don’t even notice me. I smile and laugh and then I try to join in on the negotiations but they ignore me. They want to do it their way. The way they have been the last two weeks.

They don't even notice me standing there. Still. Smiling.

I wish the best for my boys, their health, happiness and I hope for great passion in their life. But through all that, through the good and the bad, I wish that they will lean on each other. I want them to realize there is one person in their life that has gone through the same things with the same parents at the same time. Nothing in life is guaranteed or lasts forever but at least they should know that they always have each other. Through thick and thin.

Crazy love.

~ Proud Mama

I miss Pollyanna

2007-11-04T13:48:00.000-05:00

On pretty days, I would walk down to her house to see her. She baked little sugar cookies with Hershey Kisses, she made the (then) popular cabbage soup and ground up ham for ham salad. I loved it.

She had a huge craft room with all of her knitting needles, reams and reams of yarn. Her shelves held her ceramic collection, things she had made for herself and others. The door was kept shut throughout the day … the room seemed sacred that way. When I entered, it felt like I was going into a secret place. I loved to look at the long, aluminum knitting needles.

Friday nights were “Happy Hour” night. She had popcorn and honey roasted peanuts. Little sausages swam in barbecue sauce and the adults drank Gimlets or Greyhounds. They laughed in the kitchen about their days and their family and of course, their grandchildren. I wanted to be old enough to get their jokes but I wasn’t.

They drove to distant, sunny places in their motorhome, my grandfather and Pollyanna. They would visit frequently their children and grandchildren; happy hour “on the go” I would think. When Grandpa got sick, she spent her time at the nursing home. Through the disabling Shy Draeger’s Syndrome, she would read his mind, “I wish I could take you away from all this.” She was his Honey.

We live apart now, she in Tennessee, me in Georgia. I wish to go to her house on a whim the way I did when I was younger. It’s harder now, now that I have her great-grandchildren toodling at my feet...at arm’s reach for all of her breakable ceramics and crafts. They need to hear her laugh the way I did. She is Honey to so many more now; grandchildren and great-grandchildren and to my boys. The days just fall through your fingers without really knowing it. You scramble with your own kids, taking care of the now...but missing so much, the yesterdays. The yesterdays in Pollyanna’s kitchen, eating soup, talking about school and visiting the sacred craft room.

~ Just this Mom